Have you ever tried to tell your story? We all have our favorite stories, the ones we get to retell with each new relationship we begin. They are the ones that our spouses and family can tell better and more accurately than we can.
But what about the bad stories? The moments in our lives that we don’t open with. Now when making a new friend or sitting on a first date, I wouldn’t recommend leading with a story of how you once (…) well just fill in the blank there. Yet in life we need a level of transparency that is so rarely displayed. While we know our whole story, all the good and all the bad which has happened, we only see that which others allow to be seen through the picture window of social interaction.
No matter what stories we hear there are always stories not being told.
I wanted to share 3 quick thoughts about why the bad in our story is good and we should not try to hide it and why we should never compare it to other stories.
1. Life is not fair.
We all wish there was a formula to follow in order for everything to always work out. Maybe we wish under our breath for a cop to be watching when we get unjustly cut-off on the interstate. Alas, that rarely happens. While life is not fair, it is always consistent. No matter how hard we try everyone experiences struggles. In the military I learned a valuable life saying: “expect the best, plan for the worst.” No matter how well you plan, Life happens.
EXPECT THE BEST, PLAN FOR THE WORST AND PREPARE TO BE SURPRISED. ~ Dennis Waitley
2. Life is indiscriminate.
Whether you come from Beverly Hills, CA or Benton Harbor, MI – Life doesn’t care. This sounds harsh, but we miss the beauty of this fact, if we quickly jump to the stance of “Life is unfair”. It doesn’t matter where you were born, how great your job is, who your parents are, or how educated you are. Everyone has the same odds. The question is never if tough times will come, but when. How we deal with struggles determines what we will get out of life.
The good moments are better because we know what bad moments are like.
3. Life is more valuable after the bad.
Love your story, because it has led you to right here and now. The value of a story is increased when others can relate personally. Think, what are your greatest strengths? How were they developed? Muscles are formed through work and stress, and even pain. The same is true with emotional and spiritual strength – it is built out of the friction in the bad moments of life.
STRENGTH IS BUILT OUT OF THE FRICTION IN THE BAD MOMENTS OF LIFE.
There is truly no better time or place we could be, then now. While everything is not perfect and it definitely isn’t always easy, but it is ours. The value of the best moments in life are only realized by the experience of bad moments. Your greatest joy will come by overcoming the struggles in your life.
We celebrate the underdog, not because they always win, because they struggle through the bad in life and never quit pursuing the good which comes from the struggle. One of my favorite stories which illustrates these truths is Nelson Mandela’s life. Though he went though the bad, his eye was always fixed on the good which will follow. Though struggle and trial came, he always held on to hope of better. You can read more about His story Here.
Remember as we go through this life that bad moments happen, it is not always fair, nor is it discriminate; through these bad moments, value is added and because of the bad when we persevere the good we find in life is all the more rewarding.
What Do You Think?
Does everyone always make lemons into lemonade? No. But I believe that if we understand that everyone goes through bad things it helps us get through our own.
Would you add anything to the list? Have you found this works for you?